‘In Passing…’
“…could I just say…?”
“…I would like to add…”
“…I would like, if I may, to mention…”
Bleagh! And here I was thinking I was being dead crafty: that from my title would ‘spring’ a portal from which material may flow – seamlessly – from my mind into that of the reader. My addenda, however, point to quite another portal – the one wedged between my bum cheeks from which only a baser material may pass. And, more worryingly, only five lines in, I’m in peril of being sucked up into it – into a dank orifice of self-importance. That’s the problem, dear reader, with the term ‘In Passing’: that and its history of inflicting pain upon the guiltless.
‘In Passing…’ stirs from memory your old school principal’s speech; the one where she thanks…
“…in passing, all those hard-working Rotarians for all their hard work, and, in passing, all those other hard-working members of the local community, and, in passing, those hard-working members of the Country Women’s Association, for all their time and for all their hard work in raising all those funds for the new sanitary roll dispensers in the new boys toilet block and, oh, yes, in passing, I almost forgot to mention the SRC, and the school cleaner for attaching them to the wall, and, in passing….”
I’m sure you get the picture. If not, how about that speech on your wedding day from your new dad?
“…and, in passing, I would like, if I may, to mention my new son-in-law’s generosity, he always leaves the wife and I with a little something every time he visits…take those crusty jocks he leaves all over our house! I mean it…take ‘em!!!…and while you’re at it…take the wife as well!”
Ah! What a joker, and a bullshit artist too…you only leave ‘em all over the bathroom!
In short, “In Passing…” is a craven fart – sly and bodiless, it stinks up the air for all. Indeed, ‘In Passing…Wind’ may prove to be the more ingenuous title if you let ‘pass’ my more colourful excesses. That’s the beauty of this blogumathingy; you can flip me the bird – instantly – if I exceed your pain threshold - believe me, friend, you do me no favours by being ‘nice’. Treat me rough…I can take it.
